Monday, February 22, 2010

Life's Not Fair

My little sister was finally told that she wasn't responding to her chemo, and that our family should should take time and spend it with her because they don't know exactly how much time she has left to live. People have told me all my life that life isn't fair and that I should just get used to it. Not everything goes the way that you want it and sometimes you just need to accept that. However, I don't think it is fair that an eleven year old has to say goodbye to a world that she hasn't really been able to live in a get a good experience.

She will never get to experience high school, and I know that some people say that high school was nothing great, but to a little girl who knows that she will never get the chance to be a high school freshman it really sucks. She will never get to go out on a first date, or experience a high school prom. I know it kills my dad to think that he will never get to walk his daughter down the isle.

The one person in our family that is really taking this whole thing the hardest is my little sisters twin Nikki. Nikki has stopped doing anything with her friends and does nothing but sit by her sisters side. All Nikki does is cry when she isn't around her sister. She doesn't want to cry in front of her because she doesn't want to make her more upset than she already is. I don't think anyone will ever understand why a girl that young and that still has everything in her life yet to live for is being taken from the people that love her the most.

It sounds weird but my grandpa gave our family a song to listen to called " Streets of Heaven" by Sherrie Austin. The song helps us hope that my sister goes somewhere peaceful and that just because her life here on earth is coming to end that her spirit will live on and be happy. She deserves to be happy she has been so great through the whole thing. It seems like she is the glue that is hold our family together so that we don't all fall apart in grief. I try to spend as much time as I can with her and try to make up for the time that I wont have. But for now I am taking it day by day and being thankful for each day that I am being given to be with her.

9 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear that your sister isn’t responding to her chemo. I am glad you’re trying to get time to spend with your sister. I am very sorry to hear about your sister. I am glad your grandma gave you that song. I am sure it helps out a lot. I am sure your sister will go to a better place. I hope you’re going okay. Let me know if I can do anything for you. You’re in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I’m wishing the best for her, and I’m going to pray for her to pull through this. I can only imagine how your whole family is feeling right now. The only thing I can compare this to wasn’t a great day for me. I was about eleven going on twelve when my grandma was diagnosed with cancer and they gave her less than six months to live. It tore our whole family apart, so I’m also going to pray that your family holds strong.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Not to long ago my aunt was sick, she was very sick also but do you know one thing that made her feel happy? family. It's funny how we take for granted a little cousin or an older brother until something like this happens. The fact that you guys are surrounding her with love has a bigger impact on her life then what you would think. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am very sorry to hear about your sister. I feel horrible about how this is happening and how your family feels. Its terrible that your sister is going through this. I hope you and your family are doing okay. Your family and sister will be in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No girlie,life is not fair.I am sorry to hear about what your going through, i actually started crying when i read your last blog. My mom has cancer and i know how that struggle is, waking up every morning wondering if your loved one is still there for you.I know it sounds silly to say but i honestly believe everything in life happens for a reason, and if it means anything to you i am forsure keeping you in my parayers. I can not even think about what your going through and when i think my life gets difficult, i will think about what your going through...and if you can be strong enough to make it through, we all should be able too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am very sorry for everything you and your family are going through. I cant say that I have went through the exact same thing that you have but I know that has to be hard. You and your family are very strong and my prayers are with you all. I would have personally broke down and lost my mind but for you to keep going is very hard. Im sure that you and your family are spending as much time as possible wth your sister so again my prayers are with you and that everything gets well with you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. This blog post has had the greatest impact on me because it makes me stop and realize that should appreciate what i have. I wish the best for you and your family, and I'm going to keep your sister in my prayers and wish for the best.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ren--

    I am in amazement of your sister's brave battle and your brave decision to share your family's experiences with the class and potentially the world. I hope you realize that your decision to share this story has touched an entire class--teacher included--and through your words, your sister's struggle will continue to reach out and cause people to reflect, review, and maybe even opt to look at their own lives differently henceforth.

    All of my best.

    ReplyDelete
  9. So many things that can turn ones life under in a split second. Its just sad. I can't imagine how u and ur family must feel at the moment. It isn't fair. Your little sister is in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete